It’s often that I hear counseling clients question “how” when we talk about loving oneself. Positive feelings of worth compromised due to beliefs that there is only “good”or “bad” in this world.
If I am flawed, am I of value as I am? How can I love all of me?
“I own me...I am me and I am okay”. Virginia Satir writes in her prose “Self Esteem” one of the most simple yet most powerful answers to the above questions.
Through self- discovery, how does one get to the place where they can embrace who they are and therefore love and value themselves fully? How can self-criticism be transformed into love of self and acceptance of who you are, as you are? As an anxiety therapist, it is my hope to help guide and encourage my clients as they discover this answer within themselves.
Letting go of the “good” and “bad” binary and the negativity that surrounds the thoughts and feelings that have diminished one’s self-esteem, perhaps a new way of viewing oneself, owning oneself, and embracing one’s full self can arise.
Counseling can help you think of yourself as an antique treasure.
Perhaps you have some unwanted bumps, scratches, and scrapes that show your wear and tear. Like an antique treasure, your marks tell a story of where you have been, of what you have endured and experienced. These marks, and how you received them, are part of your unique history. Do not undervalue your authenticity. Present yourself “as is” with pride.
Now, think about Antiques Roadshow. People come from all over with antique items to be reviewed by an expert only to determine the value of the item. These items, may it be a painting, a dresser of drawers, a statue, a lamp... each one may be worn when found, most likely not in what the owner sees to be “mint” condition. Through time, and in various hands, some antiques have been patched and covered up, this mask thus at times lessening their worth in the eyes of the expert because being “touched up” changes the original, true form.
Being “uncovered” and true to your special form gives you value! YOU are all that you need.
YOU are an antique treasure. If you honor and own your unique “scrapes” and “scratches”, your authentic and true self, then perhaps these imperfections you see are NOT problems with you. In reality, they are resources WITHIN you.
“Because I own me, I can become intimately acquainted with me. By doing so I can love me and be friendly with me in all my parts. I can then make it possible for all of me to work in my best interest”
Loving oneself as an antique treasure begins with acceptance of the whole self. However, preserving that love requires self-care. Just like an antique, You need to take care of yourself - keep it safe and protect it from the elements. Adjust the temperature, wipe it clean...listen to what you think, how you feel, where you are within your relationships, and open yourself up to how all of these “elements” impact your true form.
If you can open yourself up this “naked truth”, taking that risk will only set you free from the notion of being “good” or “bad”, of having little worth and value, and rather open you up to a world of just being YOU, of being you, and being okay.
I would love to support you on your journey. I provide counseling for anxiety and depression in my Austin office. Click here to contact me and schedule a consultation.